When I wrote my annual review last year, I thought 2020 easily took the cake for “the craziest, most unpredictable year.” Looking back at 2021, I think we experienced our fair share of wild, unprecedented events that will go down in history.

We started out with Capitol riots, the Delta…

In Chinese, a sea turtle is called “hai gui” — 海龟
But “hai gui” is also slang for immigrants who leave their homeland
Crossing oceans in pursuit of a better future
Seeking education in a place they can’t understand

Many return to China after graduate school
Clutching their master’s and doctorate…

It’s been half a year since I shared a Medium post, the longest stretch I’ve taken without writing something.

In truth, I’ve tried many times to write again, approaching various topics from recent life events and personal matters to pandemic-related things like WFH fatigue, my growing TikTok obsession, and venturing…

Linger for a little while with me
In this space between
Sick and sentimental

Coughing up old habits
Like searching for daylight in darkness
And stars in a city night

Is it toxic tenderness
Or wistful nostalgia
That keeps these crossed out names
In the corners of an untold story

Last chapter’s pages
Turned
Tainted
Twisted
Crumpled in my hands

Halfway through this year, I stopped writing on Medium. I’d post poems here and there, but I took a break from inner monologues, movie reviews, and blogging altogether.

Something in me just wasn’t sitting right. I’m not sure if it was the pandemic that made everything feel so damn depressing…

Why do we search for the sun
With our heads faced down
Buried in dark corners and shadows
Of thinly-veiled excuses
Under bridges of cologne
And rocks masking bone

Our hungry souls digging
For some sign of forgiving
Instead of chasing halcyon summers
We seek cold sleepless nights
What’s the point of looking for light
If we get distracted by treasure

Those rocks that glittered like gold
They rarely carry weight on their shoulders

I’ve been sitting at my desk for hours, trying to step through a storm of thoughts, reactions, and feelings about recent events in our country. It’s quite apparent there’s not one, but two deadly viruses killing Americans. Let’s call them what they are: COVID-19 and systemic racism.

COVID-19

On May 24…

It’s been a while since I’ve written an inner monologue.

In truth, I’ve been afraid. Afraid of coming to terms with these last two months, and how much I have failed and faltered in between. To say I’ve been struggling with this new time we’re in would be a gross…

Alina Tang

26. // Finding my voice through indie films, inspiring souls, and my innermost ramblings.

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