Turtle Love

In Chinese, a sea turtle is called “hai gui” — 海龟
But “hai gui” is also slang for immigrants who leave their homeland
Crossing oceans in pursuit of a better future
Seeking education in a place they can’t understand

Many return to China after graduate school
Clutching their master’s and doctorate degrees
But my parents planted roots in America
5,000 miles away from home, they gave birth to me

I grew up spending my summers in Beijing and Nanchang
Split time between grandparents on each side
Grasping snippets of their dialects between my teeth
My Mandarin broken no matter how hard I tried

But whatever words and phrases escaped me
Were made up in hugs, picnics, and long walks
The mountains of dishes my extended family cooked
Eroded all language barriers and road blocks

An overseas love is bittersweet
The ache melts away during each visit like dark chocolate with every bite
Because I’ll never be able to ask my grandma directly:
奶奶, can you tell me something about your childhood or life?

Instead what my grandma and I always talked about
Was the pet she got when I visited her the first time
Green like jade and no bigger than my palm
It was a turtle that grew to become mine